So .... I'm in The Bahamas for the summer .... in my own house .... in The Bahamas for the summer. (Figured I should just have full disclosure about this.) Been here for 3 weeks .... doing stuff.
I was here initially for two weeks with a summer babysitter who is helping me with Tres Spawn. First .... I just can't really bring myself to call her a nanny .... especially because she's not from a third world country and Second .... Tres Spawn are my three much loved but highly aggravating kiddos. Essentially .... the summer babysitter is here to make sure that I don't go all bat shit crazy and beat Tres Spawn in a Mommy Dearest .... 'no wire hangers' kinda' way.
All my friends probably think I'm insane .... but my babysitter is an absolutely adorable little tiny blonde spinner girl. You know .... those perky little blondes who have so much energy that they actually look like they are about to spin off the earth if it weren't for major amounts of gravity! But all is well .... calm down! ..... I have an explanation!! I've never really been super intimidated by cute girls only because I figure if my husband is going to cheat on me with a tiny blonde spinner girl .... then .... don't let the door hit ya' where the good Lord split ya', mutha' fucka'!! Cause .... it is no big secret between hubby and I that .... after all ... I'll take ALL YOUR SHIT and leave you penniless and in a fetal position if that happens .... and he absolutely knows this about me ..... that I am a vindictive, heartless and incredibly cruel person when it comes to infidelity. So .... no worries.
After the two weeks alone with blonde babysitter and Tres Spawn ..... hot Geek-Boy Hubby showed up for a week to hang out and frankly flew 2500 miles to get laid .... which I obliged ..... (gah ... I'm not that much of an asshole! lol)
So .... here's the good part ... wait for it .....
I just dropped off Tres Spawn, Hot Geek-Boy Hubby AND blonde babysitter at the airport and they are all going home together as one big happy family leaving me alone in The Bahamas for two weeks. Ummmm .... did you here what I said? ALONE !!!
What's that you say??? 'You crazy bitch ....' No! .... I'm not crazy ... but I will cop to the bitch part. They actually left me alone on this island to 'focus and get centered'. ummmmmm ..... yeah ..... That just happened.
More later on WHY.
No comments:
Post a Comment