I'm not exactly sure why .... maybe it's because I was exposed to gay people at a young age. One of my Uncles is gay ...( I'm pretty sure my other Uncle is gay ... but he's staying hush-hush about it.) One of my childhood best friend's brother AND sister are gay.
I grew up with the crazy notion that gay people were NOT a bunch of weirdos to be shunned or a race of aliens that need to be quarantined on an island. Perhaps it was also that I felt weird and different as a child because of my non-conventional upbringing and dysfunctional family life. It gave me a comforting kinship with other damaged, weird-feeling people of my world. All I know is .... I am a gay magnet. I put out a 'you're safe with me and I won't judge you' pheromone that is only perceptible to the gay community at large.
Maybe that's why, at 19, I experienced one of the most awesome and life changing boyfriend relationships of my life with a guy named Wayne.
Wayne was a horse trainer at both his mom's and a neighboring farm's saddlebred horse facility. I rode horses as a kid and when I saw him lunge-lining a beautiful saddlebred .... it was love at first sight! He was strong and handsome and had a funny, self-deprecating way of expressing himself. We started instantly dating and before I knew it ... we were hopelessly entangled in each other's lives. All I remember about those days is how much fun we were having. Shopping, dancing, riding horses .... it was all so perfect ... well .... except the fact that he was gay .... which honestly didn't bother me at the time because life was wonderful ... and ....yes ... we 'did it'.
Then suddenly and without warning ... IT happened .... Madonna's first album came out and Wayne went APESHIT gay. I remember vividly being in the barn on that day when he ran breathlessly and wild-eyed into the center aisle of the barn carrying a big jambox and a cassette tape .... He put the cassette tape into the jambox and began enthusiastically choreographing dances in all his 'Bob Fosse' glory to the songs 'Lucky Star' and 'Borderline'. I sat completely still and transfixed ..... staring at him and slowly coming to the realization that our relationship would never be the same .... it was too late. I had lost him to the lure of that great gay icon, Madonna. I entirely blame that restalyne injected interloper for the downfall of our blissful relationship. I realized that I had to release him as a boyfriend and then reconnect with him somehow as a best friend. To this day ... Wayne and I are BFF's and of course ... he does my hair. Isn't that just typical! Of course ..... I still hold a slight grudge against Madonna .... even though I now know from hindsight that our relationship was doomed from the start. Although ... It is a well known agreed upon fact that if something ever happens to my hubby .... that I will never marry again and Wayne and I will live out our years together as platonic 'gay husband' and wife ....
No comments:
Post a Comment